How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Honouring What You Need
For years, I thought saying yes made me a good person.
I said yes when I wanted to say no. I put others’ needs before my own. I felt like I had to be helpful, agreeable, easy to be around -like my worth was tied to keeping everyone happy.
And then, in 2017, my appendix burst.
A year later, I found myself burnt out in my corporate role, stretched too thin, trying to meet expectations that no longer felt sustainable. It was like my body was saying: you can’t do this anymore.
That was my wake-up call.
I started doing the work - setting boundaries, prioritising my own needs, and letting go of the fear of disappointing others.
And I’m so grateful I did before entering motherhood - because I see how much people-pleasing shows up for so many of my clients.
👉 Mothers who feel like they have to do it all
👉 Women who struggle to say no - even when they’re overwhelmed
👉 Clients who feel guilty any time they put themselves first
If this sounds familiar, I want you to know: you don’t have to keep saying yes at your own expense.
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How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Honouring You
1. Notice where you say yes when you really want to say no
If you’re always the first to offer help, take on extra responsibilities, or say yes without even thinking—pause.
Before you respond, ask yourself:
✔ Is this something I actually want to do?
✔ Am I saying yes out of obligation or guilt?
✔ What am I sacrificing by saying yes to this?
Awareness is the first step in breaking the cycle.
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2. Let go of the fear of disappointing people
Here’s the truth: saying no won’t make you a bad person.
It won’t make people stop liking you. The right people will respect your boundaries. And those who don’t? That’s not your responsibility to manage.
The more you practice setting boundaries, the more you’ll realise - disappointing others is temporary. Resentment from overcommitting lasts much longer.
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3. Replace guilt with self-respect
Every time you say yes to something that drains you, you’re saying no to yourself.
Try flipping the narrative:
💡 What if putting yourself first was an act of self-respect, not selfishness?
💡 What if prioritising your energy made you better at the things that matter most?
Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away - it’s about making sure you’re not pushing yourself aside.
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You Don’t Have to Earn Rest, Joy, or Time for Yourself
💡 You deserve to take up space. Your needs matter. You don’t have to shrink yourself to be loved.
So this week, I invite you to choose yourself.
✔ Pause before you say yes.
✔ Notice where you’re stretching yourself too thin.
✔ Start small - say no once and see how it feels.
And if this resonates, I’d love to hear.