What Does “Having It All” Really Mean for Working Mothers?

The phrase “having it all” gets thrown around a lot when we talk about women, motherhood and ambition. But what does it really mean – and more importantly, what does it cost?

So many mothers are working hard to keep everything running – thriving careers, happy kids, healthy relationships, a functioning home – and yet still feel like they’re falling short.

This isn’t about personal failure. It’s about the definition itself.

The Myth of “Having It All”

For years, “having it all” has been sold to women as the ultimate goal. But when I talk to working mothers, what I often hear sounds more like this:

• Doing a full-time job while managing the mental load at home

• Being available to everyone but themselves

• Feeling pressure to perform, support, plan, and please – all at once

It’s no wonder so many feel burnt out, guilty, or disconnected. “Having it all” has started to mean doing everything, for everyone – and being praised for holding it all together with a smile.

A New Definition: What if we redefined “having it all”?

What if your version included:

• Time to rest and recover

• Space for your ambition, goals and dreams

• Joy that doesn’t depend on productivity

• Support – and permission to ask for it

I believe you can have it all – when your “all” includes you.

That might mean letting go of some expectations. Setting firmer boundaries. Saying no. Or asking for help before you reach breaking point.

Thriving Today, in the Life You Already Have

This isn’t about overhauling your life overnight. It’s about making intentional, empowering choices in the life you’re living right now.

You don’t have to wait for the system to change, your kids to be older, or your schedule to magically clear.

You can start today – with one small decision that honours you.

So I’ll leave you with this question:

What would “having it all” mean to you… if it actually included you?